Today was a day to put my commitment to choosing joy to the test. At church we learned that Danette Velez, our Youth & Family Co-Director, was under hospice care. She has been undergoing treatment for Gestational Trophoblastic Disease since July 2005. I am feeling deep sadness as I write and silent tears are rolling. Danette and her husband Victor have dedicated themselves to the spiritual education of the children at our church (about 150 on any given Sunday.) She is the mother of five young children. She is a brilliant light shining God’s love to all who cross her path.
There is profound sadness in my heart. I grieve for her family. But I do not grieve for her.
For Danette I feel joy and gratitude. I am grateful that in the short time we have been in Kansas our family, especially our daughter Sophie, has been blessed by her loving presence. I joyfully celebrate a life well-lived and well-loved.
I will never forget the first time I realized that I could feel both deep sadness and grief at the same time as deep joy and peace. I was having a particularly challenging time in my life, but I had also been joyfully experiencing a growing relationship with the Divine. I was feeling a palpable connection to God even in the midst of my crumbling life. It brought into sharp relief that the power and grace coming from that connection is what allows me to see past the grim realities to something comforting and true.
I am feeling that again today.
I know that while Danette’s body maybe in its final moments her Spirit is Infinite. Perhaps, in her True Nature, she may be more a part of this world than ever before. Perhaps we will feel her love in innumerable ways when she is without the limitations of the physical body. Thinking on this comforts me. I find myself, with eyes closed and heart open already sensing her love….it is a joyful feeling, and yet the tears roll on. I know it is important to let them roll, unchecked.
Will her children and her husband find joy beyond their grief and pain? I haven’t the courage to place myself in their shoes for too long to wonder about it.
Even so, this is what it is to be alive and to live a human life. May we all strive to live a life well-lived and well-loved like Danette Velez.
1 comment:
Rima,
I too, feel the pain of the loss of a mother of a child. In times like these, findng the joy CAN be difficult. For me, it seems to reside in the joy of a life well lived. Even in what may be her final days, Dannette is inspiring, uplifting - healing - all that know her or come into contact with her. As you have said,there is a vast difference between joy and happiness. Dannette has always radiated a true joy of the heart and soul. We can all take comfort there.
I honor you for beginning this blog. May the flame of joy burn brightly in the hearts of all that come into contact with it.
Blessings
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